Originally published under Moi les hommes, je les déteste, Pauline Harmange's book was nearly banned in France for its feminist themes and honest, objective views on why so many men think we simply can't stand them.
With only 80 pages, Harmange is able to capture the essence of modern feminist attitudes through the looking glass of why hating men can be seen as a response to sexism. Girls grow and mature into women and are expected to be able to put up with constant harassment and lewd gestures, yet boys will be boys - leaving no room for growth and responsibility to be taken by men, even well into adulthood.
Misandry. Harmange jumps right into what is considered by men to be the ultimate crime that women commit against men. That we simply hate me so much, that we fall onto an extreme on a scale that merely counters their own disrespect towards women. Whereas misandry is used throughout these essays as a negative feeling towards men and not complete and total hatred, men weaponize it against feminists in order to justify why they won't identify as feminists themselves. When men state that they are feminists, they are met with applause and worshipped for their "progressive attitudes and understanding nature," but when we as women state that we are feminists, we are met with sneers and side-eye glances, commonly followed with the notorious "equal rights, equal fights" statement. Why is it a man's first reaction to counter being treated equally with "I should be able to hit a woman"?
"Are standards so low that men are really allowed to get off so lightly?"
I absolutely love the way Harmange explains misandry and how she is unapologetically an misandrist. She exemplifies the reasons behind why so many women are quick to say that they are merely joking when they call themselves a misandrist, to make sure that everyone knows that they don't really hate men, and why that simply does not apply to her philosophy. It's refreshing. The commentary and comparison on misandry versus misogyny is compelling and places the drastic differences right in front of your nose.
Women are so often taught and observe that they cannot be angry. That they cannot show anger or aggression or displeasure in a situation without being viewed as emotional, volatile, or unhinged. But when a man expresses anger, he is viewed as commanding, assertive, and domineering. Much like Harmange, I too relate to replacing anger with frustration and the occasional crying session - if we cannot express anger, it's the next best thing. But of course, we are then viewed as emotional and not put together, unable to properly express emotions without being put into a box by - you guessed it! - men. Men, who I would like to point out, are praised for showing anger and aggressiveness - something that women can't seem to afford.
An absolutely compelling essay, I recommend I Hate Men to anyone who has been confronted with opposing views towards their feminist outlook and justified misandry. Modern feminism is being attacked by men who are too fragile to simply "shut up and listen" to women in today's society.
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