This review contains mild spoilers and details for Vanishing Twins: A Marriage. Please read with caution.
I admit, I did not know a lot about this book when I first opened it - it had been sitting on my bookshelf for some time, and I have finally been able to start tackling my never-ending growing TBR pile. But right off the bat, the description on the back cover caught my eye. A list of things that we, the readers, will learn from this book: Alternate reading of the myth of Narcissus? How to smoke a novella? The mysterious equations of distance, difference, desire, and love? Consider me intrigued!
The use of ballet comparisons and writing style is captivating - you can feel her pain, her resentment, and her utter confusion and longing for understanding through the page. She explores her triumphs that turn into defeats, her attachment to Eric as though they are one and the same, and the struggles of their relationship through both separation and exploration of both of their sexualities.
Her relationship with Elena showed a side of Leah's struggles of having Eric understand her need for flourishment and her own personal growth, while at the same time not telling Eric about their relationship for some time and then still only letting him in on a little information. However, Eric is also going about the country on business and various retreats where he tells Leah of his sexual encounters and revelations, so I cannot blame her for wanting to keep Elena to herself, especially when Eric wasn't up much for the throuple idea that was initially on the table.
Her twin left her behind. Then ballet was gone. And now, Eric was in New York for a year, away from Leah, leaving her left behind once again.
We see Eric start to explore a life outside of Leah once he goes to New York - he sleeps with a woman with a serious resemblance to Leah, and then tells her that he has been seeing a psychoanalyst for some months. It is interesting to see how Leah becomes upset at this confession - while they are in an open relationship, she has been "hiding" the extent of her (then) relationship with Elena with telling Eric only some of the details, but gets upset when he is seeing another man or just having casual sex with people he encounters.
She does not want to "murder their relationship," but does not understand how it could continue as is while they live together again after a year of what was a significant shift in their relationship and their own self discoveries.
Overall, I have some mixed feelings about Vanishing Twins: A Marriage. I feel myself content with the ending of Leah and Eric's story, yet wanting to see them beyond their final cohesion back together at the end. They were separated for so long and are finally back together under the same roof, yet to me, they feel oceans apart. I do recommend this book for readers looking for an interesting approach to self-reflection and discovery through a nontraditional writing style for nonfiction.
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